Esto es algo que puede resultar difícil de escuchar: los celos no tienen nada que ver con los demás, siempre se trata acerca de TI – TU sensación de ser ignorado, despreciado, no tomado en cuenta y no amado, y subyacente a todo esto, tu frustrado deseo de controlar a los demás – lo que hacen, lo que quieren, cómo son atendidos por los demás, quién los ama – y en última instancia, tu deseo de controlar el universo.
¡Auch! Suena fuerte. Los celos como un intento de insurrección que realiza el yo separado contra su peor amenaza: el amor incondicional.
Admítelo: Alguien más está recibiendo toda la atención, el amor, las recompensas, el éxito, la gloria, y a ti te han dejado fuera, en el frío, aislado, olvidado… todo un fracaso – y nada especial. Los celos ven al otro como una especie de ‘rival’, un ‘enemigo’, una ‘amenaza’ para tu camino. Ellos ven la vida como una gran competencia y a la alegría como un bien sumamente escaso. Y una vez que tomas este camino, observas un millón de rivales, un millón de obstáculos para alcanzar tu alegría…
¡Los celos hacen que tu paz dependa de algo o alguien más! Te dicen: ‘No puedo estar en paz mientras ellos…’ (llena el espacio). Le otorgas a los demás poder sobre ti, y después te molestas porque toman ese poder – ¡que, por cierto, nunca lo hacen! Tú se los asignas a través de tu atención.
Los celos pueden golpearnos muy fácilmente cuando nos sentimos inseguros o dudosos acerca de nuestro propio camino. Con el fin de evitar nuestro propio dolor, y de evitar ser honestos acerca de nuestras propias inseguridades, desviamos la atención de nosotros mismos hacia los demás y comenzamos a compararnos, a contrastarnos y a luchar mentalmente. Empezamos a querer lo que aparentemente tienen ellos. ‘¿Por qué ESO no me pasa a MI?’ nos preguntamos. Todo se trata acerca de Mí. Mí mí mí mí. El ego se nutre de la comparación y de la lucha de poder.
¿Dónde y cuándo puede comenzar la sanación de los celos? En el único lugar y tiempo que hay. Aquí y Ahora.
Comienza por volver hacia tu único punto de poder: este momento presente. Reconoce tu experiencia, profundamente. Siente cómo te consumen los celos, su ardor, su dolor, sus punzadas en la garganta, en el pecho, en tu estómago. Siente el poder que está presente, la fuerza volcánica de la vida misma, el poder que crea universos. Haz a un lado la palabra/etiqueta/concepto ‘celos’ y siente directamente la cruda sensación, sin juicios y sin tratar de convertirla en algo ‘mejor’. Siente la vida. Contáctate con tu propia incertidumbre, con tu inseguridad, con tu duda, con tus sentimientos de impotencia. Siente a ese viejo amigo – la apremiante necesidad de controlar el mundo desde donde estás.
¡No le des la espalda! – cuando te alejas de tu experiencia corporal inmediata, comienza la separación y, por lo tanto, el miedo. Tómate un descanso. Comienza a iluminar los puntos heridos y olvidados en ti a través de tu presencia consciente. Imbuye de gentileza y amabilidad a esos niños perdidos que hay en ti mismo, esos niños que habían sido ignorados y que tanto habían anhelado sentirse amados y comprendidos, esos niños que siempre se habían sentido ‘alejados’ de la vida y de la diversión. Aquellos que destruirían el universo con tal de llamar tu atención. Siente la inocencia allí…
Tal vez, desde un lugar de profunda aceptación de ti mismo, tal y como eres, empezarás a sentir compasión por todo aquel a quien llamaste tu ‘rival’. Tal vez hasta serás capaz de celebrar su felicidad y sus logros. Pasarás a formar parte de su abundancia en lugar de convertirte en su juez y jurado. Serás capaz de aprender de tu ex-enemigo, o por lo menos usarlo como fuente de inspiración. O podrías olvidarte de todos, hacer a un lado el intento de conocer su experiencia, ¡y simplemente recorrer tu propio camino! Te darás cuenta que hay espacio suficiente en este universo para que cada quién recorra su propio camino, para que cada quien encuentre su propia felicidad, para que cada quién baile su propia danza. Incluyéndote a ti.
La alegría nunca viene del intento de recorrer el camino ajeno, ni tampoco de evitar que alguien más recorra el suyo propio. ¡Por supuesto que tampoco proviene de intentar tomar la felicidad de alguien más! Los celos, cuando se resisten y cuando se actúa ciegamente a través de ellos, terminan lastimándote a ti y a los que te rodean, y crean aún más conflicto y división. Sin embargo, una vez reconocidos, entendidos, aceptados, e incluso amados, pueden servir para abrir aún más tu corazón, llevándote hacia un punto de gran humildad, libre de la horrorosa necesidad de controlar todo y a todos los que te rodean.
Deja que los celos te sirvan como otra ingeniosa invitación a tu Presencia. Permite que te rompan el corazón de par en par, aquí y ahora. Aprende de ellos cómo ser humilde y a ir más despacio. Deja que te recuerden jamás volver a descuidarte. Reconoce que nunca eres víctima, excepto bajo tu propia percepción.
Jeff Foster.
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