Cómo desintoxicarte de un Ex – Amor ?

Una pregunta que me hacen con frecuencia algunos clientas es si hay técnicas para desintoxicarse de un ex amor.

Y realmente tienen razón al hablar de desintoxicación, ya que la ciencia ha descubierto que el amor es expresado por nuestra química cerebral de la misma forma en que es expresada una adicción.

Los estudios realizados por la doctora Helen Fisher, una de las antropólogas más reconocidas por su trabajo sobre la química del amor y la atracción en la Universidad de Rutgers – New Jersey, han descubierto que en las relaciones románticas se activan tres sistemas diferentes en nuestro cerebro, que generan distintos químicos:

• el impulso sexual: que produce testosterona, que crea un deseo de gratificación sexual.

• el amor romántico: que produce dopamina y norepinefrina, que crea euforia, posesividad, foco y deseo por una persona en particular. Esa persona se vuelve “especial” y tendemos a centrarnos sólo en lo que nos gusta de ella. Una gran posesividad puede convertirse en obsesión y celos. Estos químicos también pueden producir cambios en el estado de ánimo, generando sentimientos de euforia si las cosas van bien y de depresión si las cosas van mal. El amor romántico también puede producir energía intensa y duradera.

• el apego: que genera oxitocina y vasopresina, que proporcionan esa sensación de calma y seguridad que sentimos cuando estamos con una pareja estable.

De acuerdo a estos estudios, el amor romántico es una adicción poderosa, y cuando somos rechazados, el olvidarnos de un ex amor puede ser algo tan difícil como desintoxicarnos de una droga, pues la adicción se vuelve aún más fuerte…probablemente una respuesta mamífera instintiva para tratar de recuperar nuestro bienestar.

Cuando somos rechazados, se disparan las regiones de nuestro cerebro asociadas a la ansiedad, la adicción, los sentimientos de amor romántico, de apego, las áreas asociadas al dolor físico y la angustia asociada a él, similar a lo que ocurre con una adicción.

Estos simples pero poderosos consejos basados en la química de tu cerebro, te ayudarán a olvidar a ese ex amor:

1. No tengas contacto con esta persona. No escribas, no llames, no vayas a los lugares que frecuentaban juntos, no preguntes acerca de lo que él / ella está haciendo ahora. La Dra. Pat Allen, psicoterapeuta y experta en temas de relacionamiento, creó un programa de desintoxicación de 8 semanas, donde prohíbe cualquier contacto con el ex durante 8 semanas, tendiente a interrumpir los químicos de la adicción. Ella sostiene que ese es el tiempo requerido, y que si se interrumpe, es necesario comenzar de cero todo el proceso de nuevo.

2. Deshazte de todo lo que te recuerde a esta persona. Fotos, cartas, tarjetas y objetos.

3. Haz algún tipo de ejercicio. El ejercicio físico hace subir la dopamina en el cerebro, lo que puede darte más energía y optimismo. También hará subir las endorfinas, lo que puede bajar un poco el dolor físico, al menos temporalmente.

4. Sal y haz cosas nuevas. La novedad hace subir la dopamina, lo que puede hacer que te sientas mejor.

5. Sal con viejos amigos y recibe abrazos y besos para impulsar tu sistema de oxitocina y hacerte sentir más tranquila.

6. No te acuestes, ni te quedes pensando en la ruptura, leyendo o viendo televisión. Tienes a alguien instalado en tu cabeza, y que tienes que sacártelo. Mantenerte en movimiento te ayudará.

Estas son algunas sugerencias para ayudarle en tu proceso de desintoxicación. Y tendrán éxito en tu vida en la medida en que tú te lo permitas. Recuerda que es tu intención interna la que va primero, las herramientas externas simplemente fortalecerán tu intención más profunda.

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